Today I am grateful to be able to approach situations that I would clam up in and walk away from in an attempt to manage my anxiety.
I have absolutely no idea how many of these situations I have screwed up by pulling myself out of the picture. It was my go to reaction so prolly pretty much daily.
I can see how needy and desperate I came across to people in my past because I was needy and desperate! I am doing much better in that area now and am happily gaining the self-esteem and confidence that has eluded me for so many years of my life. I also understand how me behaving that way would attract other unhealthy personalities into my life, such as people whose goal was not to be helpful but to be controlling.
Now, I do my best to remain standing and address them in a much healthier manner. I strive to be assertive and clear, not to resort to being angry or insulting as I once did. I strive to develop compassion in handling these situations and I learning to say "no" in a kind and firm way. I am far from perfect but I believe and can see where I am doing better than I did before.
I want practise in handling myself in face to face situations where I have to think on my feet. Interacting online is wonderful but it allows me to step back and think about how I want to handle each situation where my anxiety barometer stands up and pays attention, LOL. Sometimes my emotions run pretty high and I mess up in those. I can get the time to think that I need in face to face situations by simply saying, let me think about that and get back to you on it. Or a simple No, Thank You works also, even if I have to repeat that more than once.
My point is to stand my ground since I am the one who gets the privilege of making the important and the little decisions in my life and believe me, it gets more and more fun every single day!
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