Today I am very grateful that it is even possible for me to build my self-esteem.
According to Dr. Nathaniel Branden, self-esteem is a particular way of experiencing the self. He goes on to say this:
"It is more complex than any mental picture of ourselves and more basic than any transitory feeling. It contains emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components.....Our responses to other people, to the challenges of work, to the sight of suffering or beauty, to the vicissitudes of life-all are affected by our deepest sense of who we are, what we are capable of, what we deserve."
I have taken the above statements from one of Dr. Nathaniel Branden's books: Self-Esteem Every Day. It is truly a wonderful book and it FULL of wisdom, truths and insights. I can't recommend it enough!!
I am very grateful to finally be at this stage of my recovery; I believe that I am done with the poison and toxic influences of my past and now I get the privilege and responsibility to work on me! And I love it, it FEELS Great!!!!!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Gratitude for 10-21-2013 and Being Grateful for the Choice to Release Everything that Interferes with My Happiness
Today and everyday I have the privilege and responsibility to rid myself of everything that interferes with my being and staying happy.
I have been working on this process for quite a while now. For me, it has taken careful thought, determined deliberation and many many years in psychotherapy to process what works and what doesn't. Also, I get to replace the negative with constructive positive behaviour. That is where the fun begins, LOL And once I get rid of what interferes with my happiness, I get to take steps to make sure it doesn't get back in. And that is where setting up healthy boundaries and saying "no" comes into play.
I have been working on this process for quite a while now. For me, it has taken careful thought, determined deliberation and many many years in psychotherapy to process what works and what doesn't. Also, I get to replace the negative with constructive positive behaviour. That is where the fun begins, LOL And once I get rid of what interferes with my happiness, I get to take steps to make sure it doesn't get back in. And that is where setting up healthy boundaries and saying "no" comes into play.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Gratitude for 10-11-2013 and Being Grateful for Rising Self-Esteem
Today I am so very grateful for the improvements I am seeing in my self-esteem as I move forward in my life. I see myself benefit from developing self-sufficiency and managing myself to the best of my ability.
As I learn and move myself through situations that crippled me in the past, I see the improvement in my outlook. I am building on this foundation and moving in the direction I have longed for for many many years.
Learning how to say "no" politely and firmly to requests I do not want to do or that I believe would benefit me, learning how to set my boundaries, even figuring out what those boundaries are!
If you google Self-Esteem and/or Setting Boundaries, you will find an absolute wealth of information on how to set boundaries, how to figure them out. Of course, non of this can take the place of a good psychotherapist in the event you need one and would benefit from one.
Happy Boundary Setting!!!
As I learn and move myself through situations that crippled me in the past, I see the improvement in my outlook. I am building on this foundation and moving in the direction I have longed for for many many years.
Learning how to say "no" politely and firmly to requests I do not want to do or that I believe would benefit me, learning how to set my boundaries, even figuring out what those boundaries are!
If you google Self-Esteem and/or Setting Boundaries, you will find an absolute wealth of information on how to set boundaries, how to figure them out. Of course, non of this can take the place of a good psychotherapist in the event you need one and would benefit from one.
Happy Boundary Setting!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Gratitude for 10-10-2013 and Being Grateful for the Choices I Am Privileged to Make
Today and everyday I am grateful for the fact that I have so many choices to pick from! I can decide how I want to live my life, conduct myself on a daily basis and improve myself to the very best of my abilities in my physical, mental and emotional health.
I get to make all the decisions in my own life. I can chose to be happy, mad, sad, go shopping, not go shopping, what I eat and on and on and on....................I am very grateful for this, otherwise, someone else making my decisions for me could very easily not be in my best interest.
I have the privilege of doing that myself. Good decisions or bad ones, I get to make them and learn how to better my problem solving skills. I am learning what behaviours to enjoy and which to change. I do not have to allow every one I meet into my life, I can set boundaries and keep them in place.
This ROCKS!!!
I get to make all the decisions in my own life. I can chose to be happy, mad, sad, go shopping, not go shopping, what I eat and on and on and on....................I am very grateful for this, otherwise, someone else making my decisions for me could very easily not be in my best interest.
I have the privilege of doing that myself. Good decisions or bad ones, I get to make them and learn how to better my problem solving skills. I am learning what behaviours to enjoy and which to change. I do not have to allow every one I meet into my life, I can set boundaries and keep them in place.
This ROCKS!!!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Gratitude for 10-05-2013 and Being Grateful for Implimenting Coping Skills
Today I am grateful to be able to approach situations that I would clam up in and walk away from in an attempt to manage my anxiety.
I have absolutely no idea how many of these situations I have screwed up by pulling myself out of the picture. It was my go to reaction so prolly pretty much daily.
I can see how needy and desperate I came across to people in my past because I was needy and desperate! I am doing much better in that area now and am happily gaining the self-esteem and confidence that has eluded me for so many years of my life. I also understand how me behaving that way would attract other unhealthy personalities into my life, such as people whose goal was not to be helpful but to be controlling.
Now, I do my best to remain standing and address them in a much healthier manner. I strive to be assertive and clear, not to resort to being angry or insulting as I once did. I strive to develop compassion in handling these situations and I learning to say "no" in a kind and firm way. I am far from perfect but I believe and can see where I am doing better than I did before.
I want practise in handling myself in face to face situations where I have to think on my feet. Interacting online is wonderful but it allows me to step back and think about how I want to handle each situation where my anxiety barometer stands up and pays attention, LOL. Sometimes my emotions run pretty high and I mess up in those. I can get the time to think that I need in face to face situations by simply saying, let me think about that and get back to you on it. Or a simple No, Thank You works also, even if I have to repeat that more than once.
My point is to stand my ground since I am the one who gets the privilege of making the important and the little decisions in my life and believe me, it gets more and more fun every single day!
I have absolutely no idea how many of these situations I have screwed up by pulling myself out of the picture. It was my go to reaction so prolly pretty much daily.
I can see how needy and desperate I came across to people in my past because I was needy and desperate! I am doing much better in that area now and am happily gaining the self-esteem and confidence that has eluded me for so many years of my life. I also understand how me behaving that way would attract other unhealthy personalities into my life, such as people whose goal was not to be helpful but to be controlling.
Now, I do my best to remain standing and address them in a much healthier manner. I strive to be assertive and clear, not to resort to being angry or insulting as I once did. I strive to develop compassion in handling these situations and I learning to say "no" in a kind and firm way. I am far from perfect but I believe and can see where I am doing better than I did before.
I want practise in handling myself in face to face situations where I have to think on my feet. Interacting online is wonderful but it allows me to step back and think about how I want to handle each situation where my anxiety barometer stands up and pays attention, LOL. Sometimes my emotions run pretty high and I mess up in those. I can get the time to think that I need in face to face situations by simply saying, let me think about that and get back to you on it. Or a simple No, Thank You works also, even if I have to repeat that more than once.
My point is to stand my ground since I am the one who gets the privilege of making the important and the little decisions in my life and believe me, it gets more and more fun every single day!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Gratitude for 10-4-2013 and Being Grateful for Pacing Myself
Today I am grateful that I can get done what I need to on my own schedule.
I can work on whichever craft I want to pretty much and take my time. I go to bed and get up when I want to, most nights at least. Once in a while I can't get to sleep but no where as much as before.
I can work from home and in my jammies, eat at my desk and turn off my phone if I want total peace and quiet.
I love that I can do this, it really makes a huge difference for me!
I can work on whichever craft I want to pretty much and take my time. I go to bed and get up when I want to, most nights at least. Once in a while I can't get to sleep but no where as much as before.
I can work from home and in my jammies, eat at my desk and turn off my phone if I want total peace and quiet.
I love that I can do this, it really makes a huge difference for me!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Gratitude for 10/02/2013 and Learning Effective Beneficial Coping Skills
Today I am grateful for the fact that I am learning effective coping skills that I know will only benefit me.
I am getting to learn how to manage situations and people who used to bother me or I would get angry or upset with. I don't have to distance myself or cut people out of my life anymore. I am learning how to manage myself when I find myself in those situations and I can develop roots in my emotional life. I can develop roots and build on that solid foundation and move on to handling myself maturely. I am looking forward to enriching my life with a variety of people and experiences.
I am getting to learn how to manage situations and people who used to bother me or I would get angry or upset with. I don't have to distance myself or cut people out of my life anymore. I am learning how to manage myself when I find myself in those situations and I can develop roots in my emotional life. I can develop roots and build on that solid foundation and move on to handling myself maturely. I am looking forward to enriching my life with a variety of people and experiences.
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